Forgetting about ME self

In many occasion we can hear the phrase Forgetting about One’s self and we  can very easily think : If I forget about myself, how I am going to be able to find true happiness?. As many experiences in my  life have taught me, forgetting about myself will definitely bring the pure joy that one’s looking  forward to find in this life. I can think of  3 particular times in my life I felt the most happy and energetic even when physically I was so tired and feeling I was dying of lack of sleep or  to much activity going in during the day, those times will be:  my mission, marriage  and motherhood. The three of them required me of or about someone else, serving them in every way possible , being attentive to their needs and wants and being responsive in a loving way.

One of them just lasted 18 months my second and third  one is a lifetime privilege that I encounter with daily. But why the explanation behind me finding the most happiness and pure joy when in the service of someone else?. Is easy, when we get to caught up thinking what will make ME happy, what will make ME comfortable and what will make ME this and that, we forget that there is a world out there, with people just like ourselves  trying to find that joy also. I will call it the Chain of life. Just like a necklace chain, it needs from the prior piece in order to complete the next one and so on until we have completed a beautiful necklace, that is the circle of socialization in life, unity and love for one another. We look for the opportunity to complete something else, find the fit in life. We need  to be that someone else in order to complete them and we need that someone else in order to be completed. Such things are JUST AS WELL AND FITTED TO MARRIAGE LIFE.

We have find that ONE person which we are looking forward to share not only emotional ups and downs,  but grown spiritually, improve physically and connect intimately with. All those things will be possible only if we are willing to do the 100% commitment of devoting ourselves  for that other person. That is where forgetting about myself come into place . In marriage there will be like and dislikes about each other’s preferences whether be food, housing, job opportunities, hobbies or even as simple of what type of pillow to use. We have to be aware that we both have different personalities and temperament and we have to be willing to adapt and modify in a lot of cases our own. We have to be willing to help to make decisions and not make them for them. We are to include each other’s thoughts and input and come to a one decision together.

 To modify or adapt to ones needs.   But why to modify?. We might be thinking differently in a lot of ways but, it will  be just when we are willing to bring it up and consult with one another that we will find then most peace and we will have more times when we agreed than the ones when we don’t. That doesn’t mean we will have just a perfect life and perfect companionship. There will be times when we will be tested, but this will be like a small wind that hits our wall without creating any further damage because those experiences prior that have strengthen in our marriage enough to make us and shape us like a ROCK!. In that process of shaping us we have to recognize one element that we have to be aware of, PRIDE. It can be completely destructive and fatal in many cases. When I was just married a lot of couples gave us different counsel and one of them that  have stocked  to me is the one that says:  NEVER GO TO BED MAD AT EACH OTHER OR PLAYING THE COLD SILENT GAME. You are to always try your best to resolve your issues or differences before going to bed. Doesn't mean you have to stay up until 5 am in the morning when you both are so exhausted and cranky, but to give the time necessary for both parties to be in an agreement of what is going to be the next step. If we both agreed to sleep on it and discuss the next day, that itself is a great step of letting pride go and not letting it enter to our marriage. Blaming, being defensive about each other’s point and trying to feel superior is only going to destruct us or damage our marriage tremendously rather than strengthening   it. Pride as quoted by President Benson stop or limits progression. We are to work as a couple, compromising 100% each side and look for any way possible to bring that unity to the union.